A Family of Unconditional Love

By the grace of the Goddess I have been blessed with an exceptional family!
A family that is no where close to normal, who has had more than its fare share of drama, but who has, no matter what, loved each other unconditionally.

The term unconditional love has become a bit of a trendy catch phrase in the last few years but to actually live this philosophy is another story. My Mum and Dad taught me the truth of unconditional love from day one and still to this day my Dad reminds me of its tough reality.

To love a person in the moment is easy. As we are loving beings at our core but to love a person when they are at their darkest is another challenge all together.

Since my Dad was in his twenties he has been taking in those with no where to go and teaching them to heal themselves and to love no matter how broken their hearts and souls may be.
He has taken in street kids that no one else would take, he has taken in hitch hikers who didn't have a place to hitch to, he has shown kindness to his most ruthless business rivals and he has provided love to each and everyone of them.
Many of those that he has helped have turned on him in their difficult times only to be forgiven, made to analyze their own life lessons and then accepted back in to our family fold.

I think of my Mum as being a little tougher as she was (she passed back to Spirit 15 years ago) very protective of those she loved and had any one, out side her family fold, hurt someone within her family she would pounce like a tigress protecting her cub. But in truth she was just as forgiving and opened her heart and home to all who needed her.

To truly understand this family story of mine you would need to understand the family a little so I will try to explain our weird, wonderful, and blissfully dysfunctional clan:
My Mum and Dad married in their twenties after meeting through my maternal Grandfather who my Dad was working for. My Mother became pregnant and so they got married. Most would think of this as an unplanned pregnancy but after chatting with my Aunt (Mum's sister) I learned that it was far from unplanned (at least my Mums part!).
Within a short time the marriage dissolved due to irreconcilable differences or perhaps I should say similarities.....they both like to sleep with men :-)

Even though my parents marriage ended, the love never did. They stayed best friends from day one, talking on the phone, raising their daughter (me), and always sharing an incredible love. Nothing can represent this love more than my Dad and his partner allowing my Mum and I to live with them when my Mum fell on hard financial times. We all lived together on and off over the last few years of my Mums life and when it was time for my Mum to come home to die after a battle with cancer it was my Dad's house she went to. Everyday I would read to her and everyday my Dad would bath her and hold her hand. My two dads, my Mum and I made up a perfect family unit and I feel very blessed to this day for all three of my parents. A stunning and spectacular Mum as well as two amazing and unique Dads.

I am also blessed with five Brothers all of whom are much older and are the result of the love extended to those who needed it the most. My parents and then my Dad after the divorce ran a group home for kids who society had washed their hands of. They were the children of drug dealers, prostitutes and criminals and many had already racked up a reputation with the police by the tender age of 13 yrs. Five of these boys became part of our family and now have families and careers of their own. They learned to trust, to make a better life for themselves and most importantly LOVE.
Not all of the boys who came into the group homes have been as successful by societies standards as my brothers but they did experience love and learned to take care of each other and that is an amazing success.
The borders of our family extend out around far more than just our blood relatives. We have opened up our family to all who wanted to be a part of it and this diverse tapestry has enriched all of our lives, especially mine.

Unconditional Love - A messy, difficult, and sometimes trying philosophy to live by but it is delicious in its variety of flavors and I wouldn't trade it for anything!

Everyones family has a story and I would love to hear about some of yours so please feel free to share them with me as I have shared mine with you.

Blessed Be , Love and Light

On The Horizon

There is a spot on the horizon.
Sometimes it is faint and sometimes it is vivid and clear but always it is present.

It calls to me and I walk towards it, crawl towards it, sprint towards it, but still it is on the horizon and no closer to my grasp.

I look to this spot when I am unsure of what road to take, what choice to make, and for my daily inspiration. Then I move forward continuing my relentless journey.

At times I find myself eager to reach this destination and I run blindly forward only to look up exhausted and realize I am no closer. Yet now I have missed out on the glory of the path I've passed.

There is a spot on the horizon.
It is my destination, my euphoria, my nirvana. Now I realize it is my death.

It calls to me and I walk towards it, crawl towards it, but no longer sprint towards it. For I understand now that while it guides me, motivates me, and comforts me, I am in no rush to reach my destination.

I will not risk missing the glory of the path just passed.
I will not risk missing the momentary joy of a stolen kiss that lingers on my lips after my lover has turned to go, the warmth of my skin after the sun has passed behind a cloud or the instant peace that fills the air after a child stops crying.

My life may not be as perfect in the details as I hope it to be but the spot is still on the horizon and I am blessed with another day in which to live the life I dream of and to walk the path I pave with each of my own foot steps.

~ Each day we are given a new beginning and each day we have the opportunity to live a new life in the way we wish. The spot is always on the horizon and everyday, every moment, is a gift. Live today in the way you really want to live and be the person today you have always wanted to be. ~

Blessed be. Love and light

And They Grow Larger Still

Horse pics

Facing our Fears Part 2

Just wanted to provide an update on my last post.
I rode in my first horse show yesterday and walked away with far more than just a prize or a ribbon, although I did walk away with a prize and 3 ribbons and one of them was a first which was cool.
But Getting back to what I really gained ... I'm not a competitive person. If I think about how I may do in comparison to others then it all goes to hell. If I think about doing the best I can do then I start to second guess, stress out, and again it all goes to hell. But if I stay at peace and trust in myself and just have a good time and allow my abilities to be what they are without judgment then I far exceed my expectations and I really enjoy the moment.
When it was my turn to ride the jump courses I just mounted my horse and enjoyed sharing a moment with her. I felt no stress or pressure just an over whelming gratitude for the moment and a thrill for what she and I were going to get to do. We had a blast together! I grinned and she kicked up her heals between jumps and both of us were living and loving that moment in time. I think we got a couple of pics and if so I will post at a later date so stay tuned.

Love and light,

Facing Fears and our Darker Emotions

I'm sure all of you are getting a little sick of hearing about my Saturday riding lessons but I must just say that today I got to jump a 2 foot course, meaning multiple jumps in a certain combination with jumps 2 feet high. Now 2 feet is nothing but keeping the correct form over the jumps is what is important and although I certainly have things to work on, my instructor says I have a natural jumping form. This is great news as it means I will get to move on to higher jumps in the future :-)

Jumping today also allowed me to see the youth in my wonderful mare Countess, as she kicked up her heals in delight after the first couple of jumps and you could tell she was having a great time. It was such a blast!!!

The more important tidbit for today is that I am also invited to compete in a minor show tomorrow. It will include 2 flat classes and 1 jumping class. The whole show is just for fun and to introduce us novices to competition.
But let me tell you that when I was invited it might as well of been Spruce Meadows because my blood pressure rose and the butterflies started.

It has taken some convincing from both my husband and father (Thanks to both!) to get into the competitive spirit and join in tomorrow but now that I have agreed to take part I am like a kid on redbull. I can barely contain my excitement!

Facing ones fears is never easy. For me it takes a push from my loved ones, a kick from my higher self and a good dose of blind faith but somehow I never regret facing a fear.

Facing any darker part of our selves can be a challenge. Tomorrow at the show it will be my fear of failure. Yesterday I had to face my envious and jealous side. No matter what dark crevice of your soul you are uncovering embrace it, be tender to it and shine a very bright and honest light on it. As it is only a part of your good soul and in that case how dark can it really be?

I believe that to shy away from the darker aspects of our self and pretend they don't exist is to give them power they don't deserve. Take out the dark emotions, give them a good spit and polish, shine love and light into then and allow them to simply crumble and blow away in the wind. Dark energy never serves us but if we deny it we give it a place to live rather then sending it back to the universe to become light again.

On a personal note: I will confess here from my blogging pulpit that yesterday I faced a very large dark emotion. After a loving and friendly call from my ex-partner, who's life seems filled with love and blessings, I felt jaded and hurt that the universe hadn't sent him horrible and hurtful times. I felt karma had taken the day off and decided to reward rather than punish him for the crappy way he had treated me during our relationship BUT the truth is everyone deserves happiness. My ex-partner is a good person who has faced his darker sides and who allowed me to learn very valuable lessons. The time we shared together had far more good than bad and despite hurting me he mainly loved me. I was far from an innocent by stander in our relationship as I chose to be there and participate and for that I must take full responsibility.

JK - If you happen to read this, thank you for your call. I learnt a wonderful lesson from it in allowing my self to be human and to embrace my dark corners. I am so happy that you are happy and that you have chosen to keep in touch. Blessed be to you and yours!

Love and light to you all,

The Foundation

Many years ago my Father, my Brother and I started talking about a business my Dad was trying to create. It was the taking of an old rundown chateau in France and creating a Spiritual Healing Center. My dad, John Maylam, continues with this dream. Doing all he can to bring together the required talents and funds to make his dream a reality now a decade later.

During the original conversations between the 3 of us we started talking about ethical business. How it seems that in many companies only the almighty dollar is important and the exploitation of the employees, environment, and even the owners of the company themselves were all fare game. We decided then to try and formulate a statement that we could do business by.

With a pen in my hand the words started flowing like a gift from the heavens and in moments it was finished.
With almost no revision we had a statement called The Foundation.
I would like to share this original statement here with you now:

“The Foundation” is a group of individuals and businesses that will all work from a solid foundation of truth. We hope to bring people together who believe in making a profitable living without sacrificing people’s individual growth, the environment, personal beliefs, equality, or the essence that is us all - love - both universal and personal which in reality are one.

The possibilities are endless. Imagine networking with a group of people and companies that you know do not sacrifice the greater good for personal gain. All of a sudden the balance that so many of us find only at the end of the day in our homes would encompass our entire lives. To understand this vision just close your eyes and imagine a world in balance, that vision is what a solid foundation can provide.

So here I am more than 10 years later and still believing that this is the only way to conduct yourself in business. I am happy to say that many more people are also bringing their businesses into balance and conducting themselves in a way that doesn't hurt others for their personal gain.
That being said, many companies, both large and small, do still sacrifice others and it has to stop!

We have a limited time on this earth and no matter your beliefs you simply can't deny that it is our responsibility while here, to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. This means not only choosing our employers carefully but choosing who we purchase our goods from with the same consideration.

My husband and I along with another business partner are planning our first company and it goes without saying that we will be living and working with this philosophy in mind.

I believe you can be successful, that you can have abundance and that you can sleep with a clear conscience.

I wish all of you the best and pray to the Goddess that I connect with to guide you to a balance in your work and personal life.

Blessed be. Love and light

Crying the greys

It is yet another grey day on Vancouver Island. I can't remember the last time I saw the sun and it is sending me into a complete funk.
The Vancouver city lights make you forget that it is always grey and the sexy low hung cloud against the mountains in Mission, make the grey days happy as all you want to do is curl up naked on a sheep skin rug in front of the fire.
But here in Victoria it is just grey.
The sky is grey, the water is grey and today I am grey!

I miss the Alberta sun that fans out across the sky making the Calgarian cold winter days bright and fresh. How blue the sky is and how much air there seems to be around you as the sky is just so big and you are just so small.

On the up side the pink and white blossoms are lining neighborhood streets and 2 large trees in my front garden are covered with stunning baseball sized blooms. The grass in our canine landscaped back yard is a vivid liquid green and the daffodils, pansies, and hyacinths are all making their Spring time appearance.
These plant life delights indicate that sunshine could appear at any time and let me say that for me it can't come a moment too soon.
Much more of this and I may have to do something outrageous just to stop from crying the greys.
What would this crazy act be? Stay tuned to the weather channel and the local news and perhaps you may find out!

Blessed be. Love and Light (please let there be light).
Anneliese

Enough

Next door to our house is a retirement home and in the time I've lived here I have met a few of the old people living there.
I see them walk by to the coffee shop down the road, A few of them trick or treated at our house last Hallows Eve and since we have been landscaping the front garden many have stopped to chat. I don't know any of there names but I know them by the smiles they give, the advice on cedar trees, or the image of a 80+ year old woman in a pumpkin suit that shall forever be ingrained in my mind.

The person who intrigues me most though is the grey haired lady who sits at the bus stop just to the right of my house. The first time I saw her was the day a large big dog chased our puppy Sage right out of the dog park one block from our house. Sage ran for home and nothing I screamed in my frantic voice could stop him.
I ran as fast as I could from the other end of the park where we were standing when the black dog started to chase him. I didn't stop until I was able to bury my hands in Sages soft puppy fur.

Sages journey took him out of the park, across the road and to the bus stop where he forgot the scary black dog in exchange for a pat from the old lady sitting on the bench. I stammered an apology to the lady as I took hold of Sage and then quickly retreated to the safety of our front room and vowed to never let my dog off leash again.

Since that day I have seen the same lady at the bus stop each and every day. She never gets on a bus and although I have seen her speaking to the odd person I don't think it is ever more than a casual exchange. I became quite interested in her daily or sometimes twice daily trip to the bus stop and I will admit that I now watch to see if she is there.
I walk past with the dogs if I have seen she is siting there and although I never speak to her I always smile and breath in the smell of a cigarette which is curious because I hate the smell of smoke normally and I have never actually seen her smoke but the smell is always there with her and some how it brings me comfort.

I have no family here except for my husband and so I have often fantasized about adopting some lovely elderly person to become a surrogate grandmother to the child I hope to have one day. So it should come of no surprise that the thought of chatting to the old lady at the bus stop has crossed my mind but somehow I can't help but think it would ruin the perfect give~&~ take we currently have.

I watch for her and give her a smile.
She nods and allows me to smell her phantom cigarette.
Somehow it is enough for us both...

Blessed be!

The Much-To-Do About Boobs

This ones for the girls....

Have you sat down recently and thought about boobs? Yours or someone Else's?
I find myself this morning wondering how breasts became such a hot topic and how one body part can be related to so many emotions, thoughts, experiences and controversy.

In what seemed like an overnight transformation I went from a flat chested 11 year old girl to a 36C curvaceous 12 going on 20 year old. All of a sudden my mother was having to try and hide me from the leering gazes of 35 year old men. This overnight change in my body didn't just mean that clothes fit differently but it meant EVERYTHING was different.
I became a sexual being in the eyes of other people because my body had changed, and let me tell that at 12 I was no where near ready for it.

The tops that on my friends looked cute and innocent looked sleazy on me. My friends mothers weren't sure I was the kind of girl they wanted hanging out with their daughters and they certainly didn't approve of how their older sons and their husbands were all of a sudden offering to babysit.

Having breasts changed my life the moment they arrived and they continue to play an important role in my life. They let me attract certain lovers but deter others, they prevented me carrying on with certain sports, they have both advanced and hindered career moves at certain times, they have formed a part of my personality and I have both relished and rejected them at different times of my life. Breasts are controversial and those are just my own.

The power of the breast is overwhelming.
It is what nurtures our young, lures our lovers, forms our fashion sense and fosters billion dollar industries from creams, bras, surgeries, magazines, film, and countless others businesses.

No one goes unaffected by boobs.

So why do I bring all of this up? I suppose it is to ask you to be sensitive and to give this over worked body part a bit of a break.
Their is a reason that breast cancer is rampant in our nation and it is more than just the physical nature of our world. It is also the emotional pressure that our commercial driven North American lives force on to this unsuspecting fragile collection of tissue.
As women we criticise our breasts for being too small, to big, too low, too pointy, too, too, too and I think we just need to give them a rest.
Stop judging yours and everyone Else's.
Stop allowing society to tell you something is wrong with them.
Stop forcing them into padded wire contraptions that force them into unnatural shapes.
Let them breath for Goddesses sake!!!!

1 in 27 women will die of breast cancer. This is staggering!!!!!
I say embrace your tits. Their size, shape, and stage in maturity.
Love them for what they are and take great care of your mounds.
Don't forget to check them to ensure good health and perhaps let them see the sun first hand.
www.bcsc.ca

Blessed be, Love and Light

A Complex Answer to a Simple Question

This morning I was asked a simple question.
"Do you ever loose yourself in a character of a book your are reading? Really loose yourself where you start thinking like they do?"
" Oh yes" I replied. I spoke then of a few favorite characters from the books that I love but the question has lingered with me well past the original conversation.

I think I loose myself in characters all the time. In books, in movies, in songs and even in friendships. But more often I find my self in my interactions with these characters. We have a choice in how we learn our life lessons and although I spent my younger years learning some difficult lessons through traumatic events such as death of friends and family, date rape, leaving school, leaving relationships, and so on... I have discovered in my slightly older and wiser years that I can learn valuable life lessons through listening to the stories of others and allowing myself to become a character in a story for just a moment and then relate it back to my own life. I no longer need to experience first hand a difficult path to gain the wisdom from it.
I feel very grateful that I can open my heart, mind and soul to another persons experience and gain insight from it.
It makes me wonder if that isn't the Spirits goal. To live on earth learning a handful of lessons that we can take back and share with the greater conscience at our time of passing.
How wonderful it would be to live on earth as we do in the Spirit realm sharing our insights and feelings without having to experience the drama first hand.
It takes an incredible amount of empathy to transport yourself into a character that is far removed for your notion of who you are and very little to relate to a figure you admire or respect yet I have grown more allowing myself to bathe in a character I feel disdain for, as it those who are different that can be our greatest teachers.
As I said, a complex answer to a simple question but one worth continuing to think about.
I hope you each enjoy your next book or movie. Try allowing yourself the joy of loosing and finding a part of yourself in an others character. Just remember to tie on a safety rope before diving in so our mental institutions don't become overloaded! :-)
Blessed be. Love and Light,

A Good Year

Last night I had the pleasure of watching Russell Cowe in A Good Year.
It is a wonderful movie that is well worth a trip to the video store.
Open a bottle of your favorite French wine and sit down with the most eccentric part of yourself for a good laugh and perhaps your own trip down memory lane with a loved one now passed.

Here is a link to an interview with Russell about this heart felt and inspiring flick.
http://www.emanuellevy.com/article.php?articleID=3488

Love and light,

Freedom

Today at my horse riding lesson I got to do something new. I got to jump which was a huge thrill for me. Countess sailed over the jumps with lots of ease but she ensured I was doing my job and asking her correctly otherwise I would of been going over the jumps alone :-)
The freedom I feel when riding is like no other feeling on earth. Connected, in balance, aware.
Find you freedom and bath in it as often as you can.

Donut

This morning I bought a donut.

I can honestly say that I don't remember the last time I ate one of those sugar intense dough balls. I don't even like them but today after running all my errands I went to the grocery store to buy a piece of fish for dinner and I was unexplainable drawn to a case of sticky, jam filled, sugar donuts.

I have been sitting now at home staring at it in disbelief for a good 15 minutes trying to think how this thing got into my basket, how I got home, and how I forgot to buy the fish.
Everything after seeing the case of donuts is a blur.

I suppose the question now is what to do with it, stare, sniff, eat????
This is a tough one.

~Perhaps the universe guided me to the sinful treat.
~Perhaps my body is craving an intense sugar rush.
~Perhaps, perhaps....

Oh fuck it, just eat the damn thing Anneliese!!!!!

Okay I'll admit it. It was wonderful. The sugar crunchy, the dough soft, and the jam tart.
I have no donut regrets but I will pay the price of a sugar rush hang over.
Life is so bitter sweet.
'Till nest time. Love and light,
A.

Inspiration

Please check out Tera Naomi on You tube. My fave is Beauty Fades she has so many great songs that to choose one would be to miss out on her amazing talents :-)
www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrTlFRxEVe0

Embracing Your Equine Heart

Every Saturday I have the pleasure of a horse riding lesson. My partner in this lesson is a lovely bay mare named Countess. She is ridden by several people each week and willingly puts up with each of our flaws while we learn to ask her to do things that she has been doing for many years now.

When sitting and thinking of this patient but willful animal I realize the lessons she teaches me that go far beyond my horse riding abilities. Each time she allows me onto her back or each time she responds to my gentle request to collect her trot or extend her legs, to change her lead or to stand perfectly still I realize that she has agreed to work with me despite me ignorance and flaws.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if we humans were as gracious with each others flaws as this humble animal is with mine?

She holds no grudge when I use my leg a little too hard on her side or when I loose my seat and land heavily on her back. Countess simply expresses her displeasure immediately with a swish of her tail or a flattening of her ears and then our tiff is over and all is forgiven. We can learn so much from this instant and honest display of emotion and the instant release of a discomfort allowing ourselves to return to peace with no unresolved issues.

I did a meditation over the weekend that asked me to revisit my past and I found myself crying for wounds still fresh but that are years old. I thought then of Countess and wondered if my wounds would be so fresh if I had shown all of my true feelings in the moment as she does rather than "Managing" them as many of us do and then carrying them around with us like ridiculous badges of honour. If we fill up our hearts and souls with old unresolved events and emotions then how can their be room for the joy and happiness that we each long for?

Change is never easy but it is a gift and I will being trying to change how I "manage" my emotions and I will be striving to embrace my Equine Heart by living and releasing in the emotional moment.
{Thanks Countess! I predict many carrots in your future :-) }
Love and Light,

MokSana

For many years now I have dabbled in a little yoga but I have never really dedicated myself to the practice. Recently though, I have been determined to make my practice a more regular event and although I am not quite committed to a daily practice yet I do attend 4-5 times per week.

I have started going to a wonderful studio that not only gives me teachers who provide the instruction and correction I need to stay motivated but the studio it's self has an energy and life that compels me to be there at every chance I get.

The studio is called MokSana and it is located in Victoria's china town in Fan Tan alley.

Yesterday while lying in corpse pose at the end of class I opened my eyes and saw the rain on the skylights above my head, I heard the gull perched on the roof calling out to sea, and I felt the wool blanket I was given to use cocoon my stretched and limber body. "How blessed I am" I thought to be able to spend time embracing my body in this wonderful loft studio with its soft light, warm exposed brick walls and subtle herbal aroma.

Yoga has become a way for me to become acquainted with my body but MokSana has become a way to immerse myself in peace. Thank you for this gift!

Blessed be, Love and Light

The Gift of Making a Difference

The sun is shining this morning and I feel my aura expand with every breath I take.
My swim was a little more satisfying, my coffee a little fuller of flavor, and the air just a little sweeter in smell. Mornings are by far my favorite time of day. Anything is possible at the start of each day.
This morning as I relish in the abundance I have been given I think back to another gift that I was given. A gift I was reminded of last night when catching up with a friend.
Not that long ago I met a person that I felt inexplicably drawn to and through the friendship that arose from our first meeting I was given the opportunity to help him see the world through my eyes for a moment. To see that emotion, even tough emotions that bring on tears and hurt, can be a wonderful gift. I feel that to share something with another is as much a gift for me as it is to the receiver. How blessed I am to meet people who will listen to my views even if they are far from their own and how wonderful it is to feel like a positive influence on someones life.

Blessed be, love and light.