Living in Happiness

Six days since my last post and I don't think I have ever had so much time pass since the beginning of my blogging adventure. Though the desire to write was with me I found that I felt I had very little to say that may of been of interest so I prowled back into the comfort of my own mind and curled up with a good book waiting to be inspired.

So what, you may ask, has drawn me out of my cave and back to the keyboard?
Happiness is the answer!

Happiness and the lack of it that so many people experience.
It is, in my mind, a tricky emotion. One that is as vague as love itself. For although it is seen as a simple smile and is spoken of without another thought, the essence of happiness eludes many except in brief slivers of joy that break up the monotony of no feeling at all.

For me happiness is an emotion that I had to learn to sustain. Being a child who was sensitive and aware of her surroundings from a very tender age, allowed me to take on the shadowed emotions that plague us as adults due to stress and responsibility. I found myself feeling frivolous if I played and laughed too much as it seemed unfair that I should have so much joy when those I loved struggled with tolls I was too young to fully understand.
Through that time and then difficult situations as I grew, I formed a hardened shell around my heart and found that I was left wanting for another life. I lived in the state of wanting for many years and it is only now that I understand that when you live in a perpetual state of want, you stop yourself from living in a state of continued happiness as happiness can only live in the moment.
While I still pursue my dreams and goals with all the passion I can muster I do not live in a state of want as I am grateful for all that I have and in that gratefulness I can feel happiness.
Overcoming the obscurity of this simple emotion has also taught me to open myself to a world of other emotions such as appreciation, peacefulness, and acceptance.
I spent too many of my thirty years on this earth working against my life and trying to mold it into the image I thought would allow me happiness. Yet the moment I stopped working against the life I have and enjoyed it as it is, happiness took over and freed me from the want I was submersed in.
I know that to many of you this may sound like a lot of hocus pocus bull shit but the truth is that you only have two options in this life......

To pursue your dreams from a place of want
or
To pursue them from a place of gratefulness.

Only one will bring you joy on a daily basis and give you the strength to see your dreams through to fruition. That is the choice I make.
I wish you well with your choice.

Blessed be. Love and Light,